I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
