i need an iv and a liver transplant
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
