I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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