Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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