hotel room ftw
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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