I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
