The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just found a bag of teeth...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can't turn off my feet"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
These tits shall not be calmed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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