I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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