Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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