No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
