who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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