her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
