Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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