My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
