I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
