I just saw a hot homeless man
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
3 2 1 whiskey
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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