theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
