Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
