after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
