he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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