can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
