oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize