In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
