I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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