I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
