Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
