I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need help removing her.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
