If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
