i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i think my cat just said my name.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
