Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize