Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize