His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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