You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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