i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
