I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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