New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
