I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
