I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
