guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
