you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize