i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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