youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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