Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
