I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize