ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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