you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
