i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
