I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
