Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
