I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
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So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
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NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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