Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
