Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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