is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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