Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
