just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
