She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
