I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
