Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize