I would go down on you faster than GM stock
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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