Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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