It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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