...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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