Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
