remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he thought i was a dude.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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