When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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