AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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