i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
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Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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